Goon


Labeled an outcast by his brainy family, a bouncer overcomes long odds to lead a team of under performing misfits to semi-pro hockey glory, beating the crap out of everything that stands in his way.

IMDb

Rottentomatoes

Sean William Scott [American Pie, Role Models] plays Doug Glatt. Doug is a bouncer, a brother to a gay ivy-league-er and adopted son to a former ivy-league-er. Doug doesn’t belong. When his friend and host of a basement produced hockey talk show Ryan, played by Jay Baruchel [How to Train Your Dragon], takes him to a hockey game, one of the players jumps the stands to beat Ryan up, and Doug puts him on the floor. The coach of the local team sees this, and asks him to try-out. He learns to skate and plays the role of your typical hockey goon. After liking what he sees, he sends Doug to his brother’s minor league team to see if he can’t spark a former #1 draft pick and the team to play like they should.

This movie’s title is fitting. It is a movie about goons, defined as a bully or thug, especially one hired to terrorize or do away with opposition. This is also fitting for the type of person that would actually like this movie. Trying to be a raunchy comedy, or something like that, Goon falls flat on nearly every joke it tries to make. The fighting isn’t really cool or entertaining, and the hockey portions, like most any hockey movie, are really nothing like watching real hockey. It also throws in some romantic comedy stuff, which also isn’t very good.

As a hockey fan, Goon seems a little offensive to hockey players. Yes, there are players that serve the purpose of the enforcer. If you are a Chicago Blackhawks fan, then you’ve seen one for the past two years: John Scott. He does not have much skill in the game of hockey, but players are scared of him, and if he’s on the bench, the opposing team notices, and probably won’t be gunning for the stars. But this movie makes the job seem easy, and makes enforcers look like either elementary students or heartless thugs. There are flashes of truth, but this movie will give non-hockey fans the wrong idea. But I don’t think non-hockey fans would ever watch this movie anyways.

I have definitely seen worse movies in my life, but this one is pretty bad. If you are a goon, you might find some joy in it, or if you like making fun or gay people because they are gay, or if you think the Canadian accent is funny to listen to, then here you go. But otherwise, save your time.

My Rating

 1/4 – A goon is generally pretty thick headed, not the sharpest skate on the ice. That is probably the only type of person who will like Goon. Offensive, kind of boring, and not funny, Goon tries too be a kind-hearted comedy, but it isn’t. At all.

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